You may think you’ve heard it all when it comes to wedding planning. But while everyone from your mother to your hairstylist is busy babbling on and on and on about what to expect on your big day, they’re unintentionally leaving out a few crucial details. So from the reality of post-wedding blues to the dangers of being too nice a bride, I spoke to eight of my friends and ask them to share what they wish they had been told about their big days!
1. There’s such as thing as being too nice a bride. “Everyone hears about BRIDEZILLA, but what you don’t hear about are the brides who get everything taken away from them because they’re too nice. I was way too nice about my bridesmaids getting things done—and boy did it cause a lot of stress. My advice? Be firm with dates and express your concern if someone is slacking.”
2. You’ll be pressured by others’ expectations. “Nobody told me how many ‘rules’ there are in the wedding industry. They tell you to create something that matches exactly what you want as a couple, but once you start to do the research, you learn how many expectations there are. For example, I can’t tell you how many people think it’s outrageous that we may not register, or that we’re not interested in a bouquet throw.”
3. Someone will cancel last minute. “Someone will have a conflict and have to cancel a week—or less—before the big day. Yes, it sucks and is super annoying because your seating arrangements are finalized, but no one will notice if their table is missing two people. There’s no point giving yourself a bigger headache of rearranging seating at this point—just let it go!”
4. It’s all worth it in the end. “The one thing that no one told me was how much the stress, time, and money would all be worth it in the end. All I heard were negative points—and while those feelings of stress and pressure can’t be escaped, there were so many good things that far overshadowed the bad.”
5. You won’t regret having a wedding video. “No one ever told me that one of the best purchases we could make was hiring a videographer. Of all the things we ‘splurged’ on, our videographer was my absolute favorite. There are a lot of things—in hindsight—that we could’ve gone without, but our videographer was the best investment because we have those memories to keep for a lifetime.”
6. Post-wedding blues are real. “You’ve probably heard about post-wedding blues and completely brushed them off. I wish someone would have told me to take them seriously—because trust me, post-wedding blues are real. After all that excitement, the weeks after your wedding can feel like a let-down.”
7. Your groom will care about something you’ll least expect. “Everyone sets your expectations really low when it comes to your groom and how much he’ll participate in wedding planning. But what they don’t tell you is that he will care about something—and it’ll probably be the last thing you expect.
8. Don’t expect to actually eat at your wedding. “You won’t eat much of the food you painstakingly picked out. Between your guests—who will constantly want to gab—posing for pictures, and slicing into your cake, you’ll be lucky to get a few measly bites. I wish someone would have told me to eat well through the day—or to ask our caterer to serve us a little sooner.”
1. Pick a date.
Engagement parties are usually held soon after the couple becomes engaged, while the news is still fresh. You might even decide to announce your engagement at the party! But many couples decide to share their happy news on social media soon after the proposal happens.
2. Create the guest list.
Anyone invited to an engagement party must also be invited to the wedding, so the party host needs to work with the couple to compile the engagement-party guest list. And if you aren’t sure of the size of your wedding just yet, it’s better to limit the invites to those you are certain you will also invite to the wedding.
3. Decide on a venue.
Think about the type of party atmosphere you want: If you like the idea of having everyone in the same room, you might want to rent out a private room at a local restaurant. For something more low-key, a family member’s house, backyard, golf club or wine bar might be a better choice.
4. Send the invitations.
Keep the invitations simple — choose a clean, classic design; don’t worry about color palettes or other details — your engagement party invitations don’t have to match the rest of your wedding stationery. Here on www.elopedesign.com we have a selection of designs ranging from clean and simple to cool and quirky!
5. Plan the menu.
There’s no need to plan a five-course meal with a four-hour open bar. Anything from a few snacks to a simple buffet or a casual bbq. You can also get creative and serve dishes with special meaning to you.
6. Set the scene.
If you want, choose a theme that reflects you as a couple or something that reflects your two families. The real trick here is that you don’t want to upstage the wedding — the point is to celebrate your engagement. If the budget allows, include a few small floral arrangements to perk up the space (it’s also a great way to try out a potential florist for the wedding).
7. Decide what to wear.
Choose attire that complements your party setting, but keep it simple. A pretty sundress is great for an outdoor celebration; if your venue is a little fancier, a little white dress is a safe bet. As for your fiancé, while he doesn’t have to don a suit and tie (and definitely not a tux!), his outfit should nicely complement yours.
So he asked, she said yes and the ring is beautiful. But now, in the aftermath of the perfect proposal, what is the next move?
Firstly a huge CONGRATULATIONS! You’re getting married!
Now the real fun begins!
Enjoy the excitement of the engagement and make sure you take it all in and savour the moment as a couple before making it public knowledge. Crack open a bottle of bubbly and toast the future before you prepare to take the next step – into the chaos of wedding planning.
Next, you’ll want to start spreading the good news!
Once everyone knows – and you’ve updated your Facebook status – it’s time for the first serious question you need to ask yourselves: do you want a short engagement or a long one?
If you’d like to enjoy being an engaged couple for over a year before the serious wedding planning starts, then why not celebrate with an engagement party? A fun, informal gathering with friends and family to share the moment with those closest to you is the perfect way to mark the milestone.
However, if you’d rather get married as soon as you can then you need to jump into wedding planning with both feet. First you need to set a date and check out some venues as well as determining a budget for the big day. Sit down with your other half and discuss the sort of wedding you’d like to have to ensure you’re both on the same page and put together a list of everything that needs organising so you don’t get swept along in the excitement and forget to order a cake or organise the flowers!
Next, turn your attention to the dress. It’s important to start dress shopping as soon as possible so you don’t feel rushed into buying the first white dress you try on and so the shop has time to order and fit it properly.
Don’t feel stressed by all the little bits and pieces of stationery you need for the big day, take a look at our site www.elopedesign.com – a one stop shop for all your stationery needs, especially tailored to fit your look.